Ena and I met up with Kuya Amiel and Ate Lean yesterday to talk about Grand COWS. The strip station was particularly traumatizing for the both of us, and we just needed to let that out. We also needed some expert advice on how to get over it and how to be decent members of MSS after what happened. It’s comforting to know that there are people there for you, people who have gone through the ordeals you’ve experienced, and just want to let you know that they care. I’m grateful for our one-hour meeting, because though it was short, I learned a lot and it opened my eyes (metaphorically). They saw our point and agreed with us, and that really lightens up the burden. I’m just glad I got to talk to them, especially because I can’t talk to anyone else about it. Now that we’re almost members (S-sesh na lang!), we are more empowered to improve the Grand COWS and make it more in-line with what the society actually upholds. They taught me to speak up, because if you keep your mouth shut, nothing is going to happen. Nothing is going to change. It’s better to stand up for your principles because that’s a measure of who you are as a person, kung may paninindigan ka nga ba talaga. I’m just disappointed that I gave in, and I feel like I’ve let Kuya Amiel down, because I couldn’t stand up for my beliefs. He referred to me as one of the “weak ones”, which is quite painful but is true. He also believed that a greater good comes from evils, because there’s no use in wallowing about what you did in the Grand COWS. He didn’t actually believe it, was against the process, but he understood where we came from. He apologized in behalf of the org, and hoped that now that we’re members, we’re going to do something to change the system. Thank God I have him as my buddy. I wouldn’t have survived without him.